Note: This article addresses my OCD. I was officially diagnosed with this disorder, but it’s important to know that everyone is affected differently and may have different triggers. Mine is often related to cleaning which often correlates to my figures and displays (since this is how I feel I should properly ‘clean’ them). While I have other ticks that follow more common stereotypes of those with OCD, I want to make it clear that not everyone’s is the same and this is just my personal experience.
I’ll be honest, I’m not sure that this is a common problem and I could possibly one of the few that struggle with this, but I felt it would make an interesting piece nonetheless. After all, who doesn’t love a good self-reflection story? For a small summary, this article is about how I love to horde anime-related things and how my current moving situation made me address it.
For starters, let me explain my situation; last year I moved into my first apartment with my partner. Our intentions were to stay in one spot for quite a long time, but when you’re renting a place and the management changes, so does your rent and the rules. After discussing it, we decided it was best we leave at the end of our lease; it would be more affordable and would also allow to keep our animals (since new management seemed to have an issue with exotics).
Moving is stressful, especially when you aren’t prepared for it. Up until this new lease was presented to us at the end of December, we had gotten notifications stating our agreement would be the same as the previous year. When those conditions changed, a quick decision to move was made and a fast plan put into action, thankfully, but that didn’t make it any less painful. While I was sad about a number of things, for various reasons, there was one, very superficial, thing I was not looking forward to; confronting my figures and their respective boxes. Already packing as an otaku is somewhat strange. You probably have a lot of merch, like figures, posters or cosplay items, that you need to pack. Stuff that people with different, perhaps even cheaper, hobbies wouldn’t have to waste packing resources on. But for me, figures are the absolute devil.
I believe there are plenty of collectors who have this issue. If you’re not going to keep your figures boxed, you might stash the box in case you intend to use it later. Now granted, you already diminished quite a bit of value by opening the figure in the first place, so there’s not really a need to keep it. That was something I really had to come to terms with. However, there was still a part of me that looked at the large shelf in my closet dedicated to stashing away boxes I only used once.
In addition to the boxes I never used, there were plenty of adorable anime shirts I knew I hadn’t warn since high school. While I’d had to confront this issue during the last move, there were still a few that had somehow survived the sundering. Now they’d have to make their way out of my home and life. Still, there was that part of me feeling like less of a nerd for ever getting rid of merch I’d originally paid quite a bit of money for.
As stated before, when you’re a collecting otaku with a horde of merch that you need to pack up and transport to the next place, it’s already hard enough figuring out where you need to start. Since I already use the spare walk in closet as a cosplay sound booth for Black Moor, I already am limited on storage space. You can only imagine the inhuman groan that came out of my mouth when I looked at my actual closet, unprepared for the hours of organizing that would come to follow.
So how did I come to the realization of confronting my OCD and hoarding issue with the boxes? Well, not to bring up a cliche meme from the last few months, but I looked at the stash and asked how it made me feel. I did this, not because some self-help book told me to, but because I know my mental health is often reliant on my environment. If it’s cluttered, disorganized or full of trash, my anxiety and depression tend to rile up. If it’s clean and spacious, I always feel great. The truth is, as aesthetically cool as the stack of boxes looked or despite how cute these old shirts looked, they frustrated me. I didn’t like the boxes in any place I put them. I knew I’d never properly wear these clothes again. I hated seeing the wasted space where I could store more important, perhaps even seasonal items. Sighing, I called a friend.
Clover Grayson, my best friend, came over to help pack my room. While I could manage many of the other projects, clothing included, I asked her to get rid of the boxes. Unsure that I would feel okay breaking them down and throwing them in the trash emotionally, again due to OCD, she was more than happy to take up a simple task. Thankfully, using a combination of placing me on another time consuming task and looking away from what she was doing, we were able to get rid of the figure boxes that plagued my moving nightmares. And knowing that I was able to get rid of my nerdy clothes on my own was an accomplishment I prided myself over. It was unsurprisingly freeing.
My partner and I recently finished unpacking at our new place. There’s plenty of space and our displays are, quite frankly, awesome. It was a little overwhelming to figure out what display would go where and how to start any of these projects, but somehow we got them done. In the process of getting rid of a lot of things during this last move, I think we’ve opened up new space to breathe and grow on new things. Again, I’m not sure if this is a common problem for anime nerds in particular, but for those suffering with hoarding tendencies or OCD issues that correlate with mine, maybe you’ll find some solace in knowing you can do it.
It doesn’t make you less of anything to get rid of these items. It’s okay to ask for help if you’re not emotionally ready to get rid of something on your own and I promise you’ll feel great about what you can get done without assistance.
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